Has anyone else noticed the bizarre proliferation of Niki Taylor covers lately? Newsstand owners must be seeing her in their sleep—we know we are. Vogue, Allure, Elle, Self, and more—who did she kill to get this kind of exposure? Taylor's career has been a strange one all along. Our first titillating peek at her was an arousing bathing suit spread in Vogue when she was just 14 years old, Next thing we knew, she was married and hawking Cover Girl products on TV. Then came her sister's death, a still unexplained "accident" supposedly caused by asthma inhalers. Yeah, right. And are we really supposed to believe that Taylor just had twins? One look at that flat twenty-one year old stomach and you know they came out of some alien spaceship or something. Maybe that's where her sister is now. Perhaps the sister wanted to tell the truth to the American people, and they had to shut her up. Maybe Niki died in childbirth and they substituted the sister for her. Maybe they are both still alive, but their agent is able to double book them because there are two of them. Is this a new model trend? Are the magazines in on it? Don't they want to have different models on the cover? We heard that the Vogue cover had been promised to Naomi Campbell but at the last minute Taylor was substituted. This was a bold move, alienating Campbell, recently voted model most likely to declare a jihad on the other supes. All we can surmise is that Taylor has some powerful backing. The truth is out there.

Next month: Why do Amber and Shalom do everything together? The Siamese model theory.

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