Croptops and hiphuggers are ruling the runways, so it's time to bone up on tummy etiquette. Please consider others when adopting this year's styles.

A GIANT SUCKING SOUND Please take that tired old navel ring OUT! Even worn-out Naomi Campbell has said goodbye to this suburban girl look. It reminds us of nothing so much as a bathtub drain. Pull the plug.

The same thing goes for belly necklaces, chains, and the like. A tasteful tattoo is permissible, but it means committing to a flat stomach forever.

HIPHUGGER NO-NOS The no-hipped Idalis look is hot now, and many victims think that this is a good body type for the low slung look. Oh no, no, no. Honey, they are called hiphuggers for a reason. You gotta have hips. The thing is, you have to have hips AND a flat belly, whether via sweat, genetics, or a discreet plastic surgeon.

CROP TOP CASUALTIES One episode of 90210 will tell you how sad the crop top can be. Could there be anything more depressing than seeing Tori Spelling's midriff in ensemble after ensemble? Crop tops are for the gym. And that's it.

Send your crimes to the fashion police!
Up Talk!