What, you think you're the only insecure person around? Step aside. While people might not have deemed themselves "insecure" back in the old days, insecurity has reigned since the first caveman wondered why he was the only guy on the block who couldn't seem to make fire.
Moses (15th-13th Century B.C.)Insecure about his stuttering problem. Had to have God fight all his battles for him.
Alexander the Great (356-323 B.C.)Kept calling himself "the great" all the time to overcome his insecurity. "I Am the Great!" he often shouted. According to his contemporaries, he was probably only good, or just so-so.
Peter (First Century A.D.)Oh, sure, he was all for Jesus until some guys asked him about it. Then he couldn't work up the guts to even nod.
Salome (First Century A.D.)Had to hide behind seven veils whenever she felt like dancing.
Lady MacbethPumped up her own puny ego by bossing around her husband. Compulsive hand-washer.
Joan of Arc (1412-31)Said to be obsessively ashamed of her figure; wore chain mail even in summer.
Catherine the Great (1729-1796)So desperate for love and affirmation that she tried to find these things in a horse. Isn't that sad?
Beau Brummell (1778-1840)Wore pants with flair and verve. Still felt like a big dumb sissy.
George Eliot (1819-80)Had to hide behind a male pseudonym. Was never as popular as those prissy little Brontë girls or as cool as George Sand.
William Thomson Kelvin (1824-1907)Beat himself up all the time because, according to his friends and family, the Kelvin temperature scale was never adopted for general use. Fahrenheit and Celsius would mock him in public, shouting things like, "Hey, Kelvin, how cold is it? Is it 675 degrees Kelvin cold?"
Lady Rochester (1840s)How secure would you feel if you were locked up in the attic while your husband wooed the little tootsie watching your kids?
Jackson Pollock (1912-1956)Too insecure to try realism. Was often heard whimpering, "The faces I draw look all...funny."
Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-95)Brought paranoia to the White House via an occasionally malfunctioning tape recorder, the Committee to Re-Elect the President, and the Enemies List. Perhaps the first president to blame the press for his own misconduct.
Marilyn Monroe (1926,62)Acted out her insecurity with affected sexuality and alliances with powerful men. Submerged dowdy "Norma Jean" identity with blonde bombshell persona, thus ensuring that she would never be loved for who she truly was.
Orson Welles(1915-1985)Performed card tricks with Eric Estrada on TV's "Circus of the Stars." You'd be insecure after that, too.
Woody Allen (1935- )One of the few men in history who uses his deep-seated insecurities as a tool to get teenage girls.
Linus (1950- )Has been carrying around a security blanket and letting his sister harangue him for 46 years.
Rabbit from "Alice in Wonderland"Obsessed with being late and with the subsequent scorn of others.
Alice Bradley is the Managing Editor of Charged. She lives in Brooklyn.
Illustrations by Mike Gorman - find his new comic AIR GUITAR!